Wandering Thoughts: What If

“You’re beautiful.”

And yet, as I stood staring at the girl in the mirror, I wondered if that were really true. Blond curls, ocean-blue eyes, sure she was pretty. But was she really beautiful?

I wasn’t convinced. Then I thought to myself, What if she was? What would it take for her to be beautiful? 

I played around with the skin on my face and saw the girl in the mirror do the same. Then, it hit me. What if she had a pointier chin? Aw, yes. That was it. She would be beautiful then.

I smiled at her for this new respect that came from thinking she could be beautiful. Then, another thought struck. What if her eyes were a more exotic blue, with darker, longer lashes to frame them? Yes, the eyes were the problem. If they were a more striking blue with long, black eyelashes, then she would be beautiful.

I stepped back from the mirror, satisfied at my finds, but found another. What if she were thinner? More delicate, more curved? I nodded to the girl in the mirror and she nodded back. We had both seen it. We knew what would make her beautiful.

As I carried out the tasks of the day, I kept thinking to myself, What is beautiful? One cannot simply look beautiful–that would be dull. They should also act beautiful? Yes, that was a big problem of hers. She wasn’t acting beautiful enough. Someone with beauty is graceful. She must carry herself with elegance. She should smile and laugh a lot, engaging in conversation and making friends with everybody she meets. She wouldn’t be sad–she would be confident and joyful. She wouldn’t dread social events; she wouldn’t give a negative opinion; she wouldn’t say ‘no’. She wouldn’t get tired from acting so beautiful, because she would be energized by it.

That night, I came home unhappy. As I greeted the girl in the mirror, I whispered quietly to her, I’m sorry. It is too hard for you. You can never be beautiful.

Yet, as I laid down in bed, I remembered what someone had said. I threw off my covers and went to my mirror and stood in front of it, frowning, head cocked. Their words ran through my mind as I gazed at the girl in the mirror.

“You’re beautiful.”

I stared at the girl in the mirror and she stared at me. Then a thought struck me. I might not always think she’s beautiful. But, what if that someone really did?


Thank you for reading 🙂

Leah

 

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